And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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