What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
