Me too!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
