this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i think i have two assholes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think your dad took our porno
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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