There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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