I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Are we still banned from the library?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
