his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
