last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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