just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
