If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
smell my finger.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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