New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
