you traded sex for a burrito?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
