I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
