You work out of a Hotel?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
