then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
