my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
