She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
