K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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