so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
