I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
