He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
