i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize