Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
