you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
