i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
