scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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