Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
