he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize