The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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