Nicole vs. Life
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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