soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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