my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
