are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
