he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
