me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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