i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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