There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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