I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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