Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
