And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
