your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
