The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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