I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Drunk is a universal language darling
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
