you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My vagina is very pro this idea
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
