I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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