i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
