3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
