I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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