My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The adults are the big ones right?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
