when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
