the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
50% drunk capacity currently
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm like, not good at living.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize