Me too!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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