That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
