Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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(317): View more from Indiana

We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.

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(301): View more from Maryland

she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break

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(817): View more from Texas

She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.

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(512): View more from Texas

Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?

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(816): View more from Missouri

I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.

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(469): View more from Texas

I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

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(772): View more from Florida

I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.

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