Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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