My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
