my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
