Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
