Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize