Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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