put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
